Space

So sometimes I talk to myself.  Not out loud, but in my head.   Weird, yes, probably.  But lately it always starts with “Lately I’ve been thinking about _____.”  And it’s true…I have been thinking a lot lately.  Maybe too much since I’ve also had restless sleep and bad dreams, but I think I can attribute the cleared head space to canceling cable.  And reading more. Sometimes it feels like there are too many thoughts, too much to wade through, but I’ve always liked ideas.  When they show up in my head as I’m trying to sleep, not so much.  And it’s been so many random ideas…from all different places.  Questions from small group…I’m still thinking on how we/if we/should we love ourselves, and what does that mean in terms of finding your identity in Christ.  I think about students all the time…I’ll lay down in bed and start thinking “Huh, I really should be doing x for this kid,” or “I wonder what would happen if I tried this for this kid…” and often “Huh, I just don’t feel like I know enough about x to make a different for this kid.”  And about books…Susan Cain’s Quiet pops up a lot, wondering if Junot Diaz has happy relationships in real life, wanting to be friends with Anne Jackson just to swap stories about church.  Thinking about how to serve kids with special needs better in our kids’ ministry, about the conference I’m going to in a few weeks, about finances and my future, and how poorly I’ve done at keeping up with #shereadstruth.

And this is one of those “and” things.  It can be exhausting to be so much in my head.  And I love it.  And I want to share it with people…sit down and really talk about ideas.  But in a group of two or three…since, you know, I’m an introvert.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Space

  1. sara

    i talk to myself… out loud… and i desperately wish i still had a coherent thought in my head… but it’s completely empty. so can i claim a few of yours?

  2. Come up and have coffee and I’ll be happy to empty my brain a bit. 🙂

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