Gross Foods Prepared and Served Mostly by People of Dutch Ancestry

Okay, there are just some things that do not, and should not, go together. Lately I’ve had similar conversations with colleagues and friends about the disgusting foods that are always served at gatherings, mostly church related–potlucks, weddings, funerals, graduation parties… Having grown up with an Irish mother I avoided having to eat most of these in my own home, but a church potluck reminded me of a few of my least favorites this morning:

  1. The most disgusting: Jello, particularly jello mixed with cool whip, with VEGETABLES in it. Gross! Fruit is weird, particularly pears, but celery???? I accidentally ate some this morning and was totally grossed out.
  2. Ham buns. For those of you who might not be familiar with a ham bun, it’s a slab of ham on a dinner roll. Not so bad in and of itself. However, the traditional ham bun is served with the roll (both sides) slathered in butter. And, lately I’ve seen a few with melted, processed cheese spread. Ick.
  3. Sugar sandwiches and peanut butter/butter sandwiches. This may have just been my grade school and high school, but wow…a sugar sandwich consists of bread, butter and sugar, and the peanut butter at our school was always mixed 1 to 1 with butter.
  4. Sloppy joes with potato chips on top. I don’t so much mind the taste of a sloppy joe, but handling one is usually treacherous at best. And potato chips on top just puts it over the edge for me.
  5. Pretzel/jello dessert. This is jello perversion that is second only to celery. There’s a layer of pretzels in a dessert, under jello. “Don’t they get soggy?” you ask. Yes! Soggy pretzels? Gross.
  6. I don’t know what to call it other than a food pile-up. People (my very own family members included) mix together corn, applesauce, mashed potatoes, and sometimes a piece of meat. Ick, ick, ick. Give me a divided, plastic plate anytime.

I’m sure I’ve missed a few, but these are my top offenders. Feel free to add to the list.

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “Gross Foods Prepared and Served Mostly by People of Dutch Ancestry

  1. Ok, that is hilarious! Though I have to admit, that I am a huge fan of mixing applesauce and corn. Sorry. And my dad is the king of mixing things…”it all goes down the same pipe!” is what he says.I have never heard of vegetables in jello though. That is just wrong. I (thankfully) missed that one at church this morning.

  2. Reading the bit about the celery immediately made my stomach go all funny. NOT creational.

  3. Here’s the thing about the celery–it was hidden. It wasn’t a clear jello, but the kind that’s obviously been cut with coolwhip so that you can’t see exactly what kind of fruit (or vegetable!) has been hidden inside. very sneaky.

  4. Carrie loves it when my family tries to pass off a mixture of cool whip, snickers candy bar, vanilla pudding, apples and bananas as a salad.

  5. There WAS Snickers salad at the potluck too. 🙂 And I just met another person, Jer, who had your bro-in-law Craig for P.E. at SJCS. What a small world!

  6. Wow! When I saw that Snickers example I thought it had to be hyperbole. Such a thing really exists?

  7. Oh yes, Ruth. Snickers salad is real. It’s actually considered a legitimate side dish. Ask the CRC teachers at your school (if there are any), I bet they know about it.

  8. mmmm….snicker salad. you’re making me hungry! The rest of the stuff you mentioned…I totally agree with you on. I have never had (or heard of for that matter) the sugar sandwiches you wrote about but I feel okay about that.

  9. teresa schwoerer

    mom of 5.. recently i came across a jello salad recipe calling for raspeberry jello and ..are you ready..canned whole tomatoes! i had to close the book! couldn’t even read the instructions!

  10. Beth

    So…I was looking for a recipe for ham buns, and I came across your blog…I am sorry to admit, I love them, but ours are way more delicous, with no processed cheese, but lots of poppy seeds and mustard…but that is beside the point. The point is, the only thing grosser than jello with veggies in it is savory jello…made with meat juices. That is the most disgusting thing ever, trust me… it has a name, it is some sort of gourmet thing: Aspic, meat jelly. eww…

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